


The Mess I Made

by QueenoftheNile



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Blitzstone, Jefferchase(Background), M/M, Sad, angsty hearthstone, sad blitz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 20:11:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5839369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheNile/pseuds/QueenoftheNile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hearth is a little small child and he hasn't seen his friends in ever because he thinks he fucked up.</p><p>Based on the song by Parachute.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mess I Made

**Author's Note:**

> THIS FIC IS SO SAD LIKE I PLANNED IT SAD JUST BE WARNED LIKE SAD AS FUCK but happy ending so yay!
> 
> Also if you like it, or any of my other works, check out my Tumblr, @Keenofthedamnnile!

Hearth paced down the Boston street by himself.

 

He didn’t know how he could’ve possibly let things get this far. He’d gotten exactly what he’d deserved; he was alone again.

 

**_I should have kissed you there_ **

 

His family of empty cups was gone; they’d finally gotten tired of him as everyone did eventually.

 

He supposed talking to Magnus or Samirah couldn’t hurt, but it had been a while.

 

Almost six months, actually. He had so many regrets.

 

**_I should have held your face_ **

 

He was probably never going to see them again, after the last thing he’d ‘said’ to Blitzen.

 

**_I should have watched those eyes_ **

 

**_Instead of run in place_ **

 

He moved quickly, looking down with his hands in his pockets.

 

**_I should have called you out_ **

 

**_I should have said your name_ **

 

This stance was enough that he glanced over his shoulder and didn’t see the person in front of him, as he barrelled into him.

 

**_I should have turned around_ **

 

The person he’d run into was just a kid, no older than eighteen. He had dark skin, and wore a blue military jacket that looked very old.

 

He frowned, giving an apologetic look. The kid looked achingly familiar though…

 

He said something, but Hearth wasn’t paying close enough attention to catch his mouth movements.

 

Pressing his lips together, he tapped his ear, shaking his head. People tended to get what that meant.

 

**_I should have looked again_ **

 

The kid looked embarrassed. “You’re horribly familiar though…” Was what he  _ did _ catch now.

 

The elf shrugged.

 

“Wait can you read lips?” He seemed in awe of this.

 

Hearth just nodded.

 

“Oh. Well I needed to stop here anyway, I’m meeting up with my boyfriend.” This boy seemed very eager to share his story with Hearth, which seemed strange to him. And his face still  tugged at the back of his mind.

 

Hearth nodded again, allowing a small smile to tug at his mouth.

 

The boy turned around suddenly, waving. “There he is now,” He told him when he turned back.

 

Hearth followed his gaze, to see a painstakingly familiar blond teen. With a sharp nod to the boy, he turned to leave, but the boy touched him lightly on the arm, and he snapped back around.

 

“Magnus says he knows you, wait-” Something seemed to click in the teens head.

 

Hearth was about to turn and leave again, but by now Magnus had caught up to them and was frantically signing to Hearth, who refused to look. Instead he gave Magnus a look and turned to walk off again.

 

Magnus moved around so he blocked his path though. The look on his face was a mixture of anger and confusion. ‘ _ Where have you been? _ ’ He signed.

 

**_But oh, I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

Hearth then realized he wasn’t going to get out of this conversation. With a sigh of resignation, he signed back, ‘ _ A-S-G-A-R-D, B-O-S-T-O-N, around. _ ’ He wasn’t sure exactly how to answer that question.

 

Magnus paused, clearly trying to level his expression. ‘ _ Is this the first time you have been back in M-I-D-G-A-R-D? _ ’ He asked slowly.

 

**_I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

Hearth didn’t want to answer that question honestly. ‘ _ No. _ ’

 

Magnus frowns. ‘ _ What happened? _ ’ He decided to ask.

 

Hearth wondered how much Blitz had told him.

 

**_I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

‘ _ A lot. _ ’ He settled on, making another attempt to move past Magnus, who moved to block him off again.

 

Magnus looked slightly annoyed. ‘ _ Nothing could have happened that should have made you leave the way you did. _ ’ His signs were sharp and angry.

 

**_As you turn, you take your heart and walk away_ **

 

Only now did Hearth see that under the angry expression, there was something else, something he couldn’t quite make out.

 

‘ _ I… _ ’ He held the sign there for a moment, not sure what he was trying to say.

 

Magnus’ breathing was heavy, and TJ moved to put a hand on his shoulder.

 

Until he did, Hearth had almost forgot he was even there.

 

**_I should’ve held my ground_ **

 

The elf shook his head. ‘ _ I have to go. _ ’

 

Magnus looked up to meet his eyes, and that was when he figured out what it was under his anger; hurt.

 

‘ _ Where exactly do you have to go to that is more important than your family? _ ’ His brow was set angrily, but his eyes revealed the truth behind it.

 

**_I could’ve been redeemed_ **

 

Something about Magnus using the word ‘family’ broke something inside of him. ‘ _ You do not understand. _ ’ Hearth tried to explain, though his hands were starting to shake now.

 

‘ _ You need to talk to B-L-I-T-Z. _ ’ Magnus told him.

 

Hearth’s heart sped up at the very thought. ‘ _ I can not. _ ’ he said simply.

 

‘ _ Why not? _ ’ Magnus pressed indignantly

 

**_For every second chance_ **

 

Hearth just shook his head. ‘ _ I can not explain. _ ’ He stressed

 

**_That changed its mind on me_ **

 

Magnus stared fiercely into his eyes. Slowly, he clenched both of his fists, raising them to his shoulders facing toward him, and then turned them out toward the elf; the sign for ‘try’.

 

**_I should’ve stood up and claimed_ **

 

With a stressed expression, he started fiddling with the knots on his scarf, looking around nervously like Blitz might pop out of nowhere at the mention of his name.

 

**_That oh, my head’s to blame_ **

 

‘ _ If I do not, are you going to talk to B-L-I-T-Z?’  _ He asked, nervously.

 

**_For all my heart’s mistakes_ **

 

Magnus studied him for a second, before seeming to deflate. ‘ _ No. _ ’

 

Hearth was so relieved. 

 

‘ _ But you should really talk to him. _ ’ Magnus looked distressed. 

 

Hearth shook his head again, sighing. ‘ _ You do not get it. _ ’ He pressed his lips together. ‘ _ I have to leave now. _ ’

 

Without waiting for a response he shoved his hands back in his pockets and continued the way he’d been going before he’d run into TJ.

 

**_But oh, I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

He moved fast, as the sun began to set. The image still alarmed him sometimes, but he’d mostly gotten used to it. He couldn’t help but slow down in front of  _ Blitzen’s Best,  _ thinking about all the times he used to hang around here, all the times with Blitz…

 

**_I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

He shook his head, moving past the store.

 

He found his mind unrelentingly returning to the conversation he’d had with Magnus. He’d told him to talk to Blitz…

 

He shook his head again. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. He couldn’t talk to Blitz, not after the last time he’d seen him.

 

**_I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

A few days passed, and Hearth couldn’t bring himself to leave Boston.

 

He didn’t know what it was, but the city seemed to be confining him. Not in a suffocating, unpleasant way, but more in a friendly, homely way. Like he had some sort of unfinished business there.

 

He occasionally would wander, no particular destination in mind, just look at the city.

 

He was doing this at one point, and found himself in front of  _ Blitzen’s Best _ . 

 

**_As you turn, you take your heart and walk away_ **

 

He paused, looking over the store. It was midday, so people were in and out of the store. He could probably get away with popping in for a moment…

 

He stepped in slowly, trying to blend in with the small crowd of people in and out of the store.

 

Blitz wasn’t behind the counter, which probably meant-

 

**_And it’s you, and it’s you_ **

 

While he was fixating on the space behind the counter, Hearth backed into someone. Someone significantly smaller than him.

 

He refused to look at the shorter person, for fear of it being exactly who he thought it was. This had been a stupid idea. Without so much as a glance to the person, he left the shop again, moving quickly, putting as much distance between him and the store as he could.

 

He ended up on a bridge, but not just any bridge; the bridge Magnus had fallen off of when he died. 

 

He thought long and hard about that day, it was almost a year in the past now.

 

The memory was almost overwhelming on it’s own, and his head was still reeling from going into the shop, and his encounter with Magnus flashed across his mind.

 

He grabbed the bridge’s supporting cable to steady himself, or else he might have plummeted off the bridge himself into the icy waves.

 

He closed his eyes, leaning his entire weight on the cables.

 

**_And it’s you, and it’s you_ **

 

He didn’t even notice someone approach, until a hand touched his shoulder.

 

He jumped back about a foot, natural startle reaction mixed with his distaste for physical contact.

 

His heart only thudded harder when he realized whose hand it was.

 

Before him stood a sharply dressed dwarf, covered in sun protective clothing.

 

Blitz seemed to take him in for a moment, as if he was unsure he was really seeing what he was seeing.

 

**_And it’s falling down, as you walk away_ **

 

Hearth swallowed hard, watching, waiting to see him react. Waiting for his uncertainty to turn to anger, for him to tell him to leave, how much he hated him.

 

None of these things seemed to be on his mind. His eyes (what he could see of them) looked full of, anger, yes, but more than than that, was hurt?

 

Chewing his lips uncertainly, Hearth released the cable to sign, ‘Hi.’

 

Blitz blinked slowly, as if Hearth might disappear. 

 

They stood there for almost a minute, before the dwarf raised his hands, as if he was going to sign something, and seemed to change his mind halfway through, instead moving to envelope his old friend in a hug.

 

**_And it’s on me now, as you go_ **

 

Hearth wanted to collapse into the hug. He could feel Blitz’s heartbeat pounding against him, as if he’d just run a mile at full sprint.

 

But he couldn’t. No, there was no way in the nine worlds that he could possibly pull that off, not after all was said and done.

 

After a few moments, he pulled out of the hug, looking down to meet reddened eyes. Was Blitz crying? No, there was no way…

 

Then the dwarf shook his head, and signed, ‘ _ Where did you go _ ?’, though his hands trembled quite a bit.

 

**_And oh, I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

Hearth took a breath, and realized only now that a lump was forming in his own throat. He shook his head, raising his shoulders. He’d been too many places since he left, and he didn’t really feel like explaining himself.

 

Blitz’s expression hardened. ‘ _ Why did you leave? _ ’ 

 

Hearth thought that would’ve been apparent. ‘ _ You know why. _ ’ he signed back, earning a confused look from the dwarf.

 

‘ _ No I… _ ’ He seemed to linger on the ‘I’ sign, as a thought reached him.

 

**_I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

He shook his head. ‘ _ You did not understand the situation. _ ’ He looked mildly annoyed now.

 

Hearth shook his head back. ‘ _ I did. _ ’ He objected.

 

Blitz clenched his jaw. ‘ _ No you didn’t. _ ’ He looked more distressed now.

 

**_I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

Hearthstone clenched his jaw. ‘ _I’m sorry._ ’ He settled for. ‘ _What I did was selfish and I…_ ’ He shook his head. ‘ _I’m just sorry._ _I ruined our friendship and that wasn’t fair to put you in that position._ ’ 

 

Blitz’s expression had turned to something hard to read behind the dark layer of fabric. ‘ _ Is that what you _ ,’ The dwarf held the sign there for a moment, before he made a face. ‘ _ You idiot. _ ’

 

**_As you turn, you take your heart and walk away_ **

 

Hearth’s heart sank at the sign. He’d been foolish to think he could still save their friendship after something like that. ‘ _ I’m really sorry I wish we could just go back and be friends again. _ ’

 

Blitz shook his head. ‘ _ No you don’t understand. I wasn’t upset. _ ’ He insisted.

 

**_And it’s falling down, as you walk away_ **

 

Hearth was getting slightly annoyed himself. ‘ _ You don’t have to be nice. I understand I made you uncomfortable. It wasn’t right- _ ’ But Blitz was waving his hands exasperatedly.

 

**_And it’s on me now, as you go_ **

 

‘ _ No, you’re being stupid. Listen to me; it’s alright. Everything is. _ ’ He went on.

 

**_But oh, I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

Hearth stomped a foot against the bridge. ‘ _ Stop being so nice. I’m sorry I should not have said what I did. _ ’

 

**_I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

‘ _ Shut up. _ ’ Blitzen signs were sharp and exaggerated. ‘ _ You don’t understand. _ ’

 

**_I’m staring at the mess I made_ **

 

‘ _ But I do. I know and I’m so sorry- _ ’ Blitz put his hands over his old friends, and when Hearth met his eyes, they were fierce.

 

**_As you turn, you take your heart and walk away_ **

 

He pulled his hands back slowly, not breaking eye contact. ‘ _ I love you. _ ’ Blitz signed. There are two ways to sign I love you; the platonic intent, and the romantic intent. The platonic one had been exchanged between the two of them and Magnus and Samirah plenty; they had all been friends. 

 

This was not the platonic gesture.

 

Hearth blinked for a second. ‘ _ You don’t have to- _ ’

 

‘ _ No, _ ’ Blitz signed. ‘ _ No being nice; I love you. _ ’ he repeated.

 

Hearth paused, uncertainly. He was sure, all those months ago, when he’d said the same thing to Blitz, he’d ruined their friendship forever; he must have been wrong.

 

After a moment’s pause, he allowed a smile to stretch across his lips. ‘ _ I love you too. _ ’

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Writing Hearth breaks my heart but it has motivated me to learn sign language like I've panned to forever :D 
> 
> These children deserve love :P I'm glad there's a good amount of fanfiction out there now because I've read like all of it :'(


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